Second Chances
by Michaela Derrick

Tristan. My sun. Tall. Dark. Handsome. His eyes were a deep blue, so blue in fact that when I looked into them I felt free as if I was drifting through the sky. Dark brown hair just above his eyebrows. Built like Adonis. Teeth as white as pearls. Canyon dimples. The smile could brighten anyone’s day.

I never could wrap my head around commitment. I had avoided him in school for days, but he was always on my mind. Later in the week I was at the local hangout when I heard, “Hey Gracie!”

I thought to myself, I hope it’s not him.

I turned around, and there they were. Those blue eyes. My face turned red. I felt the nerves turn into butterflies, then the redness rush to my face as if I were upside down. I replied, “Hey,” with a shaky voice. I figured he’d make fun of me like everyone else because everyone labeled him a player. I mean, why would someone like him even talk to me? What he actually said, “How are you, gorgeous?” threw me off.

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“I’m well; I have a question for you.”

“Just ask it.”

“Why have you been avoiding me? My rep isn’t that bad is it? You can’t believe everything you hear, Gracie. I just want to show you I can be a good guy!” He winked at me. He actually just winked at me. I didn’t know what to say. I was shocked. Why me? He was a god, and I was just a plain Jane. Come on Gracie, reply. He’s waiting on you. “I…I Just don’t know.”

“Well maybe we can hangout; I’ll pick you up at seven tomorrow, and we can find something to get into and just talk. Then you can make up your mind.”

“I still just don’t know… I don’t know if I can.. I don’t know..” What I really didn’t know was that night would change my life.

“Come on, it’s only one night. What do you have to lose from just giving me a chance?” My mind told me no you can’t do this, but my heart said you have to. I went with my heart.

“Ok...just one night. Just to try.” I was still trying to convince myself it was a good idea. He smiled that smile with those deep dimples, and then turned around to leave. As soon as my heart was starting to slow down and the color was coming back to my face, he turned around and pressed his luscious lips against mine. I didn’t need any more convincing this was a good idea.

The next morning I woke up with a bright smile. I’m normally not a morning person, but something about today made me so ready to get up and start the day. I went to open my window and the sun shined so brightly. The aroma of fresh grass lingered in my room. The birds chirped their beautiful melodies. I hoped that this day would be amazing. Throughout the day I kept the smile on my face. As time approached I felt the butterflies. The time had finally come. After I got ready I sat in the living room constantly looking out the window. Hours had passed and still no show. I finally gave up. I should have known he would stand me up. What was I thinking someone like him wanting someone like me? I knew I wasn’t worth it. I crawled into bed and went to sleep.

I woke up, and I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was having a panic attack but why? What was happening to me? There was an elephant on my chest. I tried to calm myself but it wasn’t working. I grabbed my inhaler. Finally I felt a little better and I turned on the TV. The news was on and they were talking about a bad wreck that happened last night. Then they showed the truck and how damaged it was. I recognized the truck and my heart sunk. The heading stated that there were no survivors. Tristan was gone. He hadn’t stood me up. He had been in an accident. I’d never see him again. Never see those blue eyes that made you feel free. I started to feel the pain in my chest again. I got up and looked out the window. It was morning but the sky was black. The rain drops pounded against the ceiling. Why did this feel so bad? I barely even knew him. It’s like this left a whole in my heart.

The next couple of weeks I was a zombie. If Tristan wouldn’t have kissed me would he have died? Do I have a disease? Kiss of death. My mom suggested I go to a counselor so on Monday during English I went. The counselor’s name was Julie. “Come here, Hun.” She came to hug me then sat me down. “ I know what you’re going through.”

“No you don’t. I have a hole in my heart and don’t understand.”

“Actually, I do. I lost my husband two years ago.”

“How did you get through?”

“I reminded myself he wouldn’t want me like this.”

“You’re right.”

The next day I made a trip. The day was bright. You could taste the crisp wind. The birds were chirping and you could hear the squirrels running through trees. The leaves were an energetic green. Everything looked so beautiful. I looked over to the hill with the metal fence and cement stone sticking out of the ground. The sun seemed to shine through the trees right on the stone. I looked over and saw a deer and its baby prance across the field in front of the hill. Tristan.