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The Alabama Heat
by Nicole Roder Lot of folks can’t stand the Alabama heat. Specially up here, away from the water, it can get up to ninety-eight, ninety-nine. I been here long enough, I seen it get up on past a hundred one summer. But the heat never bothered me. I set out on the porch with my sweet tea an my fan, watching the lightning bugs, smelling the fresh grass and the barbecue. Always somebody out barbecuing, an ain’t nobody in this world know how to barbecue better than the folks on Teeva Street in Oak Hill, Alabama. Oh, I know they say some things bout the barbecue down in Carolina, or up there in Missouri, but they just must a never met Big Ed or Thandie-Fry. Too bad you ain’t met them neither. Big Ed live up on one end a the block, Thandie-Fry live on the other. They both done dug some pits bigger’n half they yards, which ain’t much, but it’s something. Don’t even have to go outside to smell that smoky meat coming from both ends. An folks come from all over to get a plate, set on the porch, shoot the pooch. Yes, the good Lord done blessed this place. I like the night-time specially, when the crickets get to chirping, an I can just watch the ice-cubes melt on down to water in my tea. It was a night just such as this, hot and quiet, the first time I thought I was gone die. “Rayline! Get me a coke!” Odie Ray never did like to come outside with all the regular folks on the block, so he just set in front a his big ole monster window-box fan watching the television, and then he bark at me when he want something. I was fixing to get up anyway, so I didn’t mind. “What flavor?” “What you say?” I opened the door. “I said what flavor, you dumb-ass blind donkey!” When I got out a my chair, I sucked some hot air down in my lungs. This wasn’t no ordinary heat. It was dry and heavy, burned my throat. That’s when I started listening, case He wanted to tell me something. “Get me that lemony-lime! An you know blind mean you can’t see!” Odie Ray voice ain’t sound nothing like Jesus. I pulled a coke out the ice box and set it on his little card table for him. “Damn, Rayline, you blocking the tee vee!” “You lucky I don’t make you sleep on the porch. You ever hear a ‘thank you’?” I had a lot more to say, but something done grabbed my insides and squeezed. “You gone move, or what?” “Damn O-Ray. Hold on a minute.” I put my hands on my knees and sucked in a pound a air. “What’s wrong with you?” Odie Ray said. “You know your big butt ain’t transparent.” “Shut up fool! Something ain’t right. Oh sweet Jesus.” I breathed hard and got down on the floor. Then I screamed louder than a pig sucking a thorn bush through the butt. “Damn, baby. Look like you hurting.” I could a cursed that man to his grave, but I ain’t had the breath to say it. The door slammed open and Beazer came huffing in with the baby on her hip. “What happened? Who that screamin?” Then she must a seen me crumpled on the floor with my arms hugging my stomach. “Ray Ray! What you doin'? You sick?” Odie Ray said, “She just started screaming and fell on the floor.” “I need a doctor,” I said. Took a couple breaths. “You sure this ain’t just your lady-time?” Odie Ray said. “Lord O-Ray. I ain’t had my menstrual in fifteen years. You got to carry me to the hospital.” “My story’s on, Rayline. Just wait a hour.” Beazer put the baby down on the carpet. “Come on, girl, get up in this chair.” She put her arms round my shoulders. Beazer was my cousin I growed up with. Me an Odie Ray moved next door to her an her husband, Big Ed, when we got married. Momma wanted us all to live near each other, but Mary Lou moved on down to Florida soon as she was old enough to get out a here, an Danny had to go away so much, we never would a seen him even if he ain’t moved so far. “I can’t!” That was bout all I could get out fore I done lost my breath again. “You don’t want no doctors messin' with you,” Beazer said. “Just rest a little, you be fine.” I gave them both the hate eyes. “Y’all want me to die?” I got in a couple a good breaths, rested my eyes on Beazer little baby, Rochelle. She wasn’t nothing more than a bitty little thing, skinny little legs growing out long from her pink dress. But boy could she move. She crawled on over to me, tried to climb up my shoulder an grab my nose. Even feeling like I did, that made me smile. I gave her sweet cheek a squeeze an she laughed. Shook her little body like that’s the funniest thing she seen all day, and tumbled backward onto the floor, giggling while her momma an my husband tried to figure if they should save my life or watch television. They both shook they heads, an Beazer sent a look to Odie Ray, like they was communicating something I ain’t supposed to know about. He looked back at her, an his eyes did this jiggle, only for a second. Then she said, “I’m a go get Big Ed to put her in the car, but you gots to carry her to the hospital.” “Why you ain’t comin'?” Odie Ray said. “I got the baby. I need to see if Eddie, Junior can set with her. I’m a meet you up there, but you gots to be there anyways, case she needs a next a kin to sign something. You know she can’t be responsible.” Next a kin? Beazer must a thought I was gone die, or go unconscionable or something. If the Lord was gone take me, I was gone be ready, but please Lord, don’t let it be my time. Odie Ray carried me to the little emergency over on Baker street. They didn’t have no big hospital in Oak Hill. The ER only should a took bout five minutes, but the way O-Ray drive, seemed like a hour. “Damn O-Ray! Can’t you go no faster?” “I thought you can’t talk?” “I got some breath back!” Damn. Had to stop again. I pulled my legs up an rolled on toward the door, squeezed my eyes shut. Jesus give me mercy! Odie Ray said “Now you quiet. Matter a fact, maybe we don’t need no doctors. I like you better this way.” Seventeen years, and that man still ain’t got a lick a sense. But he reached over an gave my hand a squeeze. His way a telling me I was gone be OK, he was gone take care a everything. The white security guard tried to tell Odie Ray we need to sign in and go wait, but I screamed so loud he jumped back, an I fell down right on his boots, just a wailing an crying. The white man said “Shit. Get that girl a wheel chair.” Somebody picked me up and set me down in the chair, then we wheeled on back to the white nurse. She took my blood pressure an asked a bunch a questions. I was thinking I’m gone die right here in this chair, waiting on this white lady to finish up all her questions. “And how much do you weigh, honey?” the white lady said. I let out a breath. “One ninety-eight.” Odie Ray laughed. “You know you ain’t seen one-derland in thirty years, Rayline.” Then to the white lady, “She weigh round about two twenty, two twenty-five.” I just shook my head because I couldn’t talk no more. She pressed on my stomach, an I screamed some more. “She might have appendicitis,” the white lady said. “We need to get her back.” Odie Ray touched the white lady arm, told her I could just be making this up for attention, an he apologize if it turn out to be nothing. White lady looked at me and nodded with that “feeling sorry for you” smile everybody like to use on me. She said appendicitis is serious, an we better check it out. They got me in one a them hospital gowns that tie up in the back, told me to take all my clothes off, but I kept on my bloomers. Don’t nobody need to see my black butt hanging out a the robe. I wasn’t in too much pain to keep my modesty. They took me over an got me on one a them wheel beds, an then here came Beazer an Big Ed fore they could close the curtain. “Girl, you look terrible!” Beazer said. “What the doctor think?” “We don’t know nothing yet,” Odie Ray said. “All we seen is a couple white nurses.” I grabbed Odie Ray collar and screamed in his face, “Get somebody in here! I’m gone die!” I laid down and held my stomach till somebody came an wheeled me over to the x-ray. Then they made me wait in the wheel bed while they processed. Drew my blood and hooked me up to a IV. I laid down an the pain sorta slowed. I could still feel it some, but I didn’t think I was gone die imminently. Maybe I had a hour or two. Good thing too, because them white folks wasn’t in no hurry to look at my x-ray pictures. They was too much light to sleep, but I had Beazer there anyways, an I ain’t never been rude to a guest before. “Where Big Ed go?” I said to Beazer. “Oh he down in the cafeteria,” Beazer said. “He don’t like hospitals.” “Me neither. Wish he could take me with him.” That machine they had me hooked up to kept beeping. I ain’t noticed the sound till right then. “You gonna be fine, girl.” Beazer rubbed my leg. “They’d a come back in here by now, they though you was in real trouble.” “I hope you right.” “You can believe that,” Beazer said. “Ain’t I always took care a you?” She did. Ever since Momma passed, she an Odie Ray always did. Finally, a nurse came back in. This time it was a little black girl, couldn’t a been more than twenty years old. “Ms. Rayline? Mrs. Pritchet?” “Rayline is just fine, child,” I said. “Ms. Rayline, let’s get you in your wheel chair. I need to show you something in these pictures.” Me an Beazer looked at each other, an I could see what I’s feeling on her face. We was both shook. “Where the doctor? What they think is wrong with me?” Odie Ray even looked a little freaky. He stood up. “Wait now a minute. You think you found something?” He put his hands on my shoulders an squeezed, but he ain’t take his eyes off a that nurse. “Just come on out here, Ms. Rayline. I’ll show you what I mean,” the nurse said. I got in that chair right quick, an Odie Ray wheeled me out. She put my x-ray pictures up on some kind a light board, and there I was, my insides lit up on the screen. The nurse said, “Well, Ms. Rayline, it looks like you’re constipated.” I shook my head. “Ma’am?” She pointed to the picture of my insides. “You see all this gray in here? That’s poop. You just need to go is all.” Odie Ray busted out laughing. He cried so hard, he had to set down on a bench. Well I could tell you right then, I wasn’t never gone hear this end. Even Beazer had to clamp her mouth shut so’s she didn’t snicker at me. Big Ed came back up from the cafeteria. “What’s going on? They find something?” Odie Ray said “Rayline’s full a shit!” That was it. He an Beazer both fell down hollering. When we got home, Beazer said to Odie Ray, “You want me to give her the medicine, fore you gots to put her down?” “Naw, she said she was gone take it.” “You ain’t think she gonna lose it in the bed, do you?” “Naw, that ain’t happened in least two years.” “Well, maybe get some towels down, just in cases.” They must a thought I’s too slow to hear what they saying, but my ears ain’t broke. |
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