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The Myth of Rainbows
by Rachel Tanner You can only write about depression so many times. Eventually it gets old. Eventually there have to be some rainbows, right? Statistically, there has to be more to life. No one wants to read the same thing over and over again. But when you’re stuck in that rut – in that deep pit – how do you get out of it? If there’s no one to pull you out, how do you escape? Maybe there are no rainbows. I’ve never seen them, anyway. I’ve only read about them. Heard the songs. I assume they must be more than a myth. I assume they must be real. They’re such a lovely idea. But what other consciously beautiful things have we imagined that ended up not being true? We can’t really wish on stars; some things are merely pretty ideas. Maybe happiness is the same thing. I’ve been chasing it down for awhile, trying to figure it out. I’ve researched it. I’ve done my due diligence. I think that, according to everything I’ve learned, I should’ve encountered it by now if it was real. So why haven’t I? That’s the thing about rainbows. They don’t appear out of nowhere. They take the right combination of factors. There has to be rain and there has to be sunshine. And then? Something beautiful. But if even one of those factors isn’t right, it won’t work. It takes ingredients and precision, timing, patience. It takes looking in the right direction at the right time. Maybe happiness is kind of like that. I don’t know for sure. I haven’t been lucky enough to find it yet. I don’t even know what factors would go into it. I don’t know where to begin. I look at people who seem to have their lives together and I don’t understand how they do it. It’s like this happiness is an infinite loop that has no discernible start or end instead of random sports of magical moments that help get them through the day. None of this helps me figure it out because they’re all looking in a direction that has always blinded me. I didn’t know what factors went into making rainbows when I was younger. Eventually, I learned. Maybe eventually I’ll learn this, too. |
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